Hello hello, its Hannah this time! I thought I would take over the reins from Willberry in the hope that maybe I can be a little more concise about the start of my chemotherapy cycle two than the last blog you poor people had to ramble through… So where did Willberry finish off for me to start?
Monday Willberry and I had a lazy day just catching up with life and sleep and generally everything before some friends from school came to visit us in the evening. This was the first time they had met the infamous Willberry and I’m sure he had more attention than I did! Oh well, what it is to be a VIP aye. Tuesday was way busier and slightly crazy for the sheer number of lovely people that came to see us so we were literally zonked by the end of that day and slept extremely well that night!
We had our first visit from the physiotherapist - sooo exciting - as for me this is the first step back on the road to getting stronger and more independent again, especially as I have predominantly been on crutches since the start of March. This is by no means fun when you are extremely independent and maybe just a little bit stubborn in that you have to do everything yourself… oops! At the same time, I found it a bit frustrating because what I can do is never good enough. Ultimately I want to be on a horse right now! But, I really need to learn not to think like this and be patient. Anyway, she assessed where I was at and we’ve planned our next meeting for Wednesday when we can start some little exercises with a plan for me each day to start producing muscles back in my hips and leg, especially if I have surgery in a month or so where I will need to be as strong as possible. After the physiotherapist had been my Auntie popped in for lunch and my cousins swiftly followed for facemasks and nail painting! Afterwards yet more school friends and some dodgy wig styling (I say no more) before some family friends rounded off our manic day at about 10pm – phew!
Sadly the pain keeps ruining a lot of the things I want to enjoy. It is so excruciatingly painful to travel but on Wednesday it was my Grandma’s birthday and I was determined to throw her a surprise lunch before we headed back into hospital that afternoon. It’s funny because Grandma really didn’t want to celebrate her birthday, just as Mum hadn’t wanted to celebrate hers, because I suppose in some ways they feel like they shouldn’t be happy or enjoy themselves if I can’t. But I disagree because seeing them happy makes me happy. I really and truly enjoyed that morning, it was the first time in ages I felt ‘normal’ again with my family, some hair on my head, no talk of cancer and a table full of happy people.
Perfect-ish. It would have been had my leg not been on fire while someone ripped the skin from the muscle (yes it’s like that). What frustrates me most about my pain is how variable it is. Some days it’s like thousands of needles being constantly rammed into my calves but another it could be this deep stabbing right into my bone and then completely different again the next and again the next day. But we just do not seem to be able to get on top of it no matter how much we keep putting the strength of painkiller up. I’ll be rattling soon if I take any more!
We were back in the dreaded white room once more that Wednesday afternoon. I had not been looking forward to going back for these two drugs again at all due to them being the ones that had made me more poorly last time. However it had to be done and all we kept thinking was no matter how bad they made me feel, hopefully it made the tumour feel far worse! They started the chemo first thing Thursday morning which would continue through until Saturday afternoon - great. Those two lovely, long, trip hazardous wires hanging from your chest; restricting your every move; interfering with a position that helps with the pain; wrapping round your arms as you sleep, making you fear your life as it tightens and pulls on your chest that you’ll bleed to death (!!); sending you to the toilet every 45 minutes due to the sheer amount of fluid being pumped into your body, all day, all night, for 60 wonderful hours. It feels like the fun never ends to be quite honest!
The days in hospital are long especially when everything hurts. There is no doubt about that. But I cannot help but admire how hard Dad tries to boost spirits and get you through the day. If Dad stays then Mum visits and if mum stays with me vice versa. I especially like it when my brother Sam comes to visit as him being in school and me at hospital means I do not see him half as much as I did before so it’s a real treat when we are all together. Sometimes though I hit a real dip in the afternoons when it all gets a bit too much and I am tired and emotional and in pain – visitors should steer clear now (wink wink)! But I am soon realising the best way to escape this is through sleep and Willberry is the perfect companion to snuggle with mid-afternoon. It doesn’t take us long till there is snoring (just Willberry of course!) and we feel much better after that.
Thursday and Friday were similar in that we had an easy morning doing lots of peeing in pans so they can measure my fluid going in and out, watching awful day-time TV or a movie (in Friday mornings case), popping painkillers and general snacking on rubbish food! Big Hero 6 was our choice of movie Friday morning and I must say we (that’s myself, dad and Willberry) were suitably impressed and would definitely recommend others to watch it for sure. It was funny and uplifting – just what we needed. So there you go movie ratings we give it 5 stars and that’s the best review you’ll ever get coming from Willberry wonder pony!
By Saturday we were all really bored. Now I mean really bored. When you know home time could be coming it makes you even more impatient I swear! When my chemotherapy finished at 3.30 and the nurse said I could go home we were absolutely elated but of course there would be a catch. The doctor pops in to say my blood count is a little low so they’d like to do a blood transfusion before I left. Now I thought this was fair and I was happy to do it then rather than have to come back another day and didn’t think an hour to wait for your blood sample to be tested and found was too bad either. Well… four, Yes FOUR whole hours later still no sign of any blood. Zero! I’m going to hand over to Willberry now before I get too angry about it all..!
Hannah was not impressed now to say the least; she was tired and hungry and very winey too (sorry Han but it has to be said you were rather!). However, hallelujah, at 8pm it finally arrived. They didn’t give her the two units they had hoped as this would have gone on until the early hours of the morning. Instead, Hannah was given just the one unit of blood before we left at 11pm and headed to KFC for a boneless banquet (her favourite) and happiness was restored. Phew! I’ll hand you back over to Hannah now she’s calmed down…
Thanks Willberry! Anyway we were done, the two evil drugs were over and we had climbed another step in our treatment. We are well on our way to week 6. I’m going to leave it there as I think Willberry is far better at these blogs. It’s taken me far too long to write this one! He promises he’ll have the next one up by the weekend once Mavis has been to Chepstow Horse Trials this Saturday – talk about nervous! I think it’s far worse being an owner than it is riding yourself! Anyway, fingers, toes and everything crossed!
Lots of love
Hannah and Willberry x